


Septic Headcanons

by intellexual_asexual



Series: Ego Headcanons [2]
Category: Jacksepticeye Power Hour (Web Series)
Genre: Soft Anti, also, because I said so, i am SHIT when it comes to writing kids honestly, no beta we die like actor mark, probably not jkhlgkfjd, should i add the childrens tags too, will i ever be able to tag them again?, you know what yeah i think i will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:59:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29206986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intellexual_asexual/pseuds/intellexual_asexual
Summary: My headcanons for the Septics! This is like twenty times shorter than my one for the Ipliers and I'm going to bet that you all are fed up with me not publishing actual stories but sorry my brain is fried 😔
Series: Ego Headcanons [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144424
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Septic Headcanons

**Author's Note:**

> Well here it is. This should've been published a while ago but oh well kjgfdljfkd

**Antisepticeye**

  * he/him pronouns
  * Acts tough around the house but he’s actually a huge softie. He adores Chase’s kids and Robbie, Blank, and Eric and he would protect the BeansTM with his life.
  * Anti also adores Mrs. Thomson. And he purposefully acts more like a little kid around her. Also her baked goods are _so good_ and Anti loved her even more when he found out she once killed someone
  * Anti’s powers are mainly related to computers and glitching them out. Anti can teleport either through electronics or by “glitching” through space itself. He can also inhabit electronics to do his bidding. For example, Anti could go into a security camera and spy on one of his brothers, or he could go into someone’s phone and pull up pornhub against their will. This ability is useful for pranking, which is mainly what Anti uses it for.
  * Anti really likes cussing. You will usually hear him using a curse word every sentence, unless he’s with Chase’s kids or the three BeansTM.
  * Anti also really likes to eat things raw. Not just meat, either, because Anti really enjoys drinking uncooked eggs. He and Bim don’t seem too concerned about their health, apparently. Though I guess neither of them are exactly human so it might be OK.
  * Anti doesn’t like all of his brothers, because most of them are annoying, but he certainly doesn’t hate them. 
  * Anti honestly is like your extremely edgy but cool uncle. But… not, at the same time? He’s chill and loves kids so do what you will with that.
  * Anti is messy. He’s a mess and he makes messes. He is probably the biggest mess maker in the house (except maybe for Chase, because that man is _clumsy as fuck_ )
  * Anti doesn’t kill people for fun but he’s definitely the one to go to if you want someone gone. And if any of the BeansTM express any discomfort around someone, that person will probably be dead the next day. He always swears that it’s never him, though.
  * Anti’s neck wound tends to bleed when Anti is irritated. He never covers it up and Schneeplestein yells at him for it, saying that it could get infected or something. It hasn’t gotten infected yet, so Anti still doesn’t bandage it.
  * Anti’s specialty room is basically a middle school computer classroom but with a cooler color theme. And black walls. And that fucking fantastic bowling alley carpet.
  * Anti doesn’t have a job so he has a lot of free time. He spends most of it harassing one of his brothers or Dark.
  * If Anti isn’t found near his brothers or Dark he is usually either in his bedroom, his specialty room, or with one of the non-Septic BeansTM.



  
**Chase Brody**

  * he/him pronouns
  * Chase is usually upbeat, but sometimes it just got to be too much for him. When his depression really hit he usually stayed in his room. One of the Septics would call Eric and he’d come over and sit by the door, and he’d tried to talk to Chase about literally anything else besides his kids.
  * The reason all of that was in the past tense is because Chase came to be in custody of his kids after Stacy… disappeared while he had his weekend with them. Thank God he was immediately put in charge of them instead of them being sent to some orphanage.
  * (Chase’s kids' names are Cara and Grayson. Grayson is the older sibling.)
  * Chase is also very fond of the BeansTM, and since he’s able to watch over them more often he’ll send any concerns to Anti (aka he’ll tell Anti who to kill).
  * Chase still does Bro Average, and he mainly films either outside or in Jackie’s training room. I want to point out that Chase’s videos don’t upload to a different dimension or something, his Bro Average videos are on the same YouTube as Seán’s gameplay videos. The fans just think it’s a crazy coincidence or something that this Chase Brody looks exactly like the Chase Brody Seán created.
  * Chase enjoys painting in his free time, and he mainly paints landscapes and scenes from nature. He’ll sometimes paint his kids or the BeansTM for anatomy practice though. 
  * Chase likes all of his brothers, but Anti can sometimes be a bit scary when he’s mad.
  * Chase and Anti do pranks together. Their latest prank involved two tubs of school glue and around three dozen stolen pens.
  * Now that Chase has his kids back, he radiates dad energy. Like, _happy_ dad energy, not _tired_ dad energy. 
  * Chase likes the Cranks more than the Ipliers because the Cranks are far less crazy and there are far too many Ipliers for Chase to keep track of.
  * One time Chase had to do overtime for a video and he left his brothers in charge of his kids. It turns out Anti is more a softie then Chase thought, because when he stopped editing he found Anti on one of the couches, with his nails painted neon pink and Cara in his lap. Grayson was next to him and they were all asleep, with some cartoon kids show autoplaying on the TV. Chase took like thirty pictures because it was cute (and he was definitely not going to use them to blackmail his brother).
  * Chase’s American accent is fake. He doesn’t exactly remember how he came to gain the accent, but now it’s his default speaking voice. His real accent is Irish, of course. But somehow his kids have Irish accents, even though they had never been around any of the Septics before.
  * Chase is the worst cook. He can’t even microwave a meal, his skills are that bad.



**Jackieboy Man**

  * Jackie is a bit of a dunce but we love him anyway 😌. He’s like a little kid sometimes honestly, he’s very reckless and oblivious.
  * Jackie has super strength and speed, though he uses his super strength more. Jackie uses his powers to fight crime around Brighton.
  * Jackie likes all of his brothers I guess. He’s lowkey afraid of Anti though.
  * Um uh I honestly don’t have very many headcanons for Jackie oops



**Marvin the Magnificent**

  * he/him pronouns
  * Marvin is kind of off putting at first, but once you get to know him he’s a pretty nice guy.
  * Marvin’s powers are mainly from his spellbook and cat mask (his mask is white, and it has black and red suits on the forehead of it.). His cat mask is the source of his shapeshifting ability, and his spellbook is the source of his spellcasting ability. Marvin can shapeshift into any type of animal, but the one he shifts into most is a cat. It’s his whole brand!
  * Marvin is dramatic as fuck. He always has to arrive at an event fashionably late (including his actual Arrival, so you could say he was practically born as a drama king). And one time he stubbed his toe and screamed so loud and at such a high pitch that the kitchen window had to be replaced.
  * Marvin is definitely one of the more responsible Septics. He’s the only one who can really cook, and thank God for that because if Chase had to cook he would have just starved. Marvin has no idea how those kids survived when they were with Chase before he Appeared at the Septics’.
  * Marvin also does most of the laundry in the house. It’s annoying for him honestly, washing clothing for five grown men (Robbie doesn’t count), but somebody’s got to make sure that it doesn’t smell like a dumpster in there.
  * Marvin likes to team up with Jackie to pull pranks on everyone else. He’s always careful to not involve or (accidentally target) Chase’s kids, Robbie, or the other two BeansTM. 
  * Speaking of the BeansTM and Chase’s kids, Marvin likes to perform magic for them. He actually doesn’t know any fake tricks so the magic is always real spells that he found. He also likes to give them gifts, like, all the time. Eric still has the rabbit that Marvin poofed in for him when they first met, and Clara has a cute magic hair clip that shows holographic pictures if you push it a certain way.
  * Marvin is usually able to control his magic, but when he gets really angry or sad random things in the room will start transfiguring themselves into different items, or things in the room will start levitating in green smoke.
  * Marvin’s specialty room is where he makes his potions and stuff. It almost always smells like weed though, so the running joke in the Septic house is that he’s Mad Mike’s drug dealer.
  * Marvin stores all of his potions in water bottles that he found in the attic one day. They work and were free so Marvin doesn’t see what everyone’s problem is (their problem is that he leaves them everywhere and they’re overstock from Bro Average, so they don’t want Chase to get killed because Marvin is too careless with the bottles).
  * Marvin is a fashion gay and you can not convince me otherwise. 
  * Marvin likes all of his brothers, but sometimes they can be a little too much to handle.
  * You would think that Marvin would have a job as a magician or something, but he doesn’t. At least he makes up for it by helping around the house more. 
  * Marvin likes to lay in the sun in his cat form on the rare occasion that he’s not testing a new potion/spell or cleaning. He also often wanders around the house as a cat, and Chase’s kids _love_ him. They know it’s Marvin, and Grayson thinks a little weird that he’s petting one of his uncles, but they like petting him and playing with him while he’s a cat.
  * Marvin also enjoys reading in his freetime. He often asks Host either for manuscripts of his latest works or some book recommendations.



**Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein**

  * he/him pronouns
  * Schneeplestein radiates tired dad energy. Like, sleep deprived dad energy. He can also be a bit cranky sometimes if he doesn’t get his coffee.
  * Schneeplestein and Dr. Iplier are indeed in a relationship. All of the other egos teasingly treated it as scandalous at first, before realizing that’s exactly what the two lovebirds were hoping not to happen. They all still tease the two doctors endlessly, but not as much now since it really bothers them.
  * (How did this happen, you ask? Six words: argument that turned into office sex ;) )
  * (wow i feel strange typing that ldjfhlkfsjdd)
  * Schneeplestein actually runs a health clinic since he has an actual PhD, and he works some batshit insane hours. 6 ‘til 9, he’s at the clinic, and all of his brothers hate it. Not only is Schneeplestein seemingly attempting to kill himself, but the man also needs to take care of his fucking plants. The Septics are sick and tired of trying to take care of them themselves.
  * Speaking of Schneeplestein’s plants, he is really a plant dad. His specialty room is an indoor garden and it’s absolutely gorgeous in there. Schneeplestein has plants that bloom all year round, but the garden is really at it’s peak during the summer. He also has a few plants on the kitchen windowsill, but one of them got _damaged_ after a certain incident with Chase and a love potion.
  * Schneeplestein is rarely ever in the house because of his insane work hours. But when he does have a little free time he likes to spend it either with his plants or with his boyfriend.
  * Schneeplestein thinks all of his brothers are annoying (except Robbie) but he still loves them regardless.



**Jameson Jackson**

  * he/him pronouns
  * Jameson is a sweet and polite gentleman. He would be considered an honorary BeanTM if he didn’t actively seek out mischief in the house.
  * To elaborate: Jameson is the type of prankster to be completely unassuming enough to get away with whatever prank he performs. He makes sure to make the prank look like an accident if he does get caught, so he can act innocent for whoever caught him and hope that they don’t see through his facade. It was hard to block Anti from reading his true thoughts (that sounded something like “please don’t call me out” over and over), but Jameson achieved it on the first try.
  * Jameson has some… peculiar powers. He can sort of manipulate time. It’s hard to explain, but basically Jameson can “turn back the clock” in a room he’s standing in and it’ll look like something straight from the 1920s. It’ll be all grayscale and old jazz music would start playing from some invisible radio. Jameson doesn’t use this ability often because he thinks it’s pretty useless, but one time Dark approached him and asked him to use it on some sort of mansion. The results were… interesting, to say the least.
  * Jameson is secretly a tumblr icon. It took awhile for the Septics to get him used to the internet and other various types of technology, but once he was introduced to tumblr he was hooked. If he decided to start talking again, he’d pretty much be a walking shitpost. But he settles for thinking his strange thoughts and walking by Anti frequently, hoping he reads them and makes a face.
  * Oh yeah! Jameson actually can talk, he just chooses not to. The Septics were under the impression that he was mute, since he used sign language and his appearance videos were silent films, and at this point Jameson is just used to not talking. Only Yancy knows that he can actually speak, even though it was an accident when Jameson started singing a duet with him.
  * Jameson likes the BeansTM but he doesn’t hang out with them a lot. He does hang around Chase’s kids though, and him and Grayson get along well. Grayson actually learned some sign language from his uncle, and he uses it sometimes when he decides that talking is too much.
  * Jameson will also rope Grayson into some pranks sometimes, making sure that the kid won’t get blamed for whatever prank he pulls, of course. It amplifies Jameson’s innocent act :).
  * Jameson enjoys music, and he can play quite a few instruments. He also enjoys using his musical talent to play meme songs around the house. One time he made a sort of meme remix and Chase decided to use it for his video intros.
  * Jameson is a little wary of Anti after one of his pranks went wrong. It turns out Jameson is considered an electronic device… fucking hell, Anti, you’ve traumatized the honorary honorary BeanTM >:(
  * The rest of the Septics Jameson absolutely loves and he would die for them all.



**Robbie the Zombie**

  * he/him pronouns
  * Robbie is a BeanTM. He is sweet and adorable and he looks like he’s thirty but he acts like a precious six year old.
  * Robbie can talk, but it’s very slurred speech and he gets frustrated easily when he can’t say exactly what he wants to. Jameson has tried to teach Robbie sign language, and he was very patient with Robbie, but he’s a slow learner and Robbie eventually gave up. Robbie figured out a way to communicate besides using gestures and single word sentences, though: Blank taught him how to draw. 
  * Robbie could write OK, but his overall body movements are slow and sloppy as a result of being a “zombie,” so he couldn’t really grip a pencil or pen that well and for that long. Blank showed him a different way of holding a writing utensil, one that was completely different than what his brothers had shown him, and he was able to draw what he wanted to say. It looked like a kindergartener drew it, but Robbie was able to draw “Blank” and him holding hands <3\. Those two are literally so adorable it hurts.
  * Robbie doesn’t have any scripted powers, however he accidentally found out that he can teleport sometimes. 
  * Robbie doesn’t mind that his brothers see him as more of a child than a dangerous maybe-contagious zombie. If it means he keeps getting chicken nuggets for lunch, then he’ll gladly act like a kid.
  * Robbie likes hanging out with Blank and Eric. They understand that he doesn’t have the mind of a toddler, and they treat him like his age. To an extent. Because they are all BeansTM and children by default.
  * Robbie likes baking. Or, I guess the idea of it. Since Robbie has that limited and slow movement, he tends to be a bit clumsy when he’s in the kitchen. Eric figured out a solution, by letting Robbie decorate whatever he makes after it’s done cooling. That way if Robbie messes up he can just call it abstract art.
  * Speaking of abstract art, Chase will let Robbie into his specialty room sometimes and let him go to town with his less prized paints. Chase was very surprised to see something that resembled him the last time he let the zombie in there. Where was he getting lessons from?
  * Mrs. Thomson almost officially adopted Robbie on one of his visits to the Cranks (which he wasn’t complaining about, she was his Gran), but luckily Chase and Anti’s dad senses were tingling and they sent Robbie back home.
  * Robbie has a specialty room, but… it’s not really special. At least, that’s what he thought when he arrived. At first, his room was bare except for a small purple table in the very center. He didn’t enter it again until a month later, since he figured it was a waste of time. By then the room had somehow gained a multitude of flower and grass plain drawings along the walls. It almost looked like a mural, except it was half finished. He checked the room everyday for the next week, and found that the mural walls slowly gained more and smaller images of flowers. After he met Eric, he found that the walls were being painted with yellow flowers, and after he met Blank they gained black ones. One day he found that it was the last day that the mural would grow, and he looked around at the completed scene. On one side of the room was a silhouette of a person standing in the dark, and on the other side were three people standing in the sun. The two images faded together along the other two walls with a bunch of different colored flowers. On the table were three flowers in a white vase. They were purple, yellow, and black.
  * (did i really just type out some sort of lore for the BeansTM kdjfhkjflh)
  * (also oops you can tell who i like the most kjfdgkflkjgh)



**Other General Headcanons**

  * Cara and Grayson have their own rooms in the house. Chase isn’t exactly sure how the rooms got there, but it seems to him like his brothers aren’t telling him something.
  * The Septics have a large cabinet in the kitchen solely for storing baked goods that Mrs. Thomson and Eric send over. They have another one for Marvin’s potion supplies, which everyone found to be so stupid because he could just get a shelf and put them in his specialty room.
  * The Septic residence is in Brighton, but it’s invisible to everyone except those who are allowed in.
  * There are chunky animal statues and statuettes e v e r y w h e r e. It started out as a joke, when Marvin went thrifting one day and came home with two of them (a bluebird and a cow), but now they are occupying every spare square inch of space in the Septic house and nobody knows what to do about it. Eric loves them, and he’d volunteer to take them but they wouldn’t fit on his shelves. And Blank likes them too but he’s afraid of accidentally breaking them if he goes into another unconscious fit.
  * The Septics discovered the Cranks and didn’t tell the Ipliers because they had no reason to. Unus didn’t exist yet, and the Septics thought it would be best to keep the chaotic group of egos out of the loop for a while. There was hell to pay, though, after Unus found out that the Cranks literally lived right down the ‘street.’
  * Seán truly has no control over what the Septic’s powers and traits are. He played these characters and started to use them for a bigger storyline, sure, but they were the fans’ first, and they are now only in the hands of the fans. Luckily the fandom has come to some general consensus over who can do what, unlike with the Cranks. Those poor things.



**Author's Note:**

> Oops I projected quite a bit onto the Septics but it's whatever I guess kjghljfd.


End file.
